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Writing about this has helped me get clearer and clearer on this.To be blunt--I think people who spend their time stressing about the DNA admixture in other people's relationship need to give some thought to boundaries.But at some point brothers have to stop reeling off stats about college and prison, and resolve to be something more. I've met very few (if any) black women who need a lecture on asserting themselves.We all have a moment, as black people, where we have to stop the process of bemoaning what the world thinks of us, and start asserting that which we think of ourselves. Which is why I find this constant "plight of the black woman" bit bewildering.I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped.But something in me just knew he didn't marry a sister. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress. Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul's credibility? One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that's not how I was brought up. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me.

He could have a trail of baby momma's from Oakland to Kansas City.First, I’ll start this article by saying, “just kidding.” I have immense loyalty to black women, and that’s all I’ve ever dated in my adult life.But after reading the article “8 Reasons to date a white man,” I just had to respond for the brothers.They go to bed with someone who does, or doesn't, think it's a bad idea to blow the rent-check on school clothes.They go to bed with someone who does, or doesn't, think it's a priority to keep the living room clean.

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